Tommy Blaze Poetics

My Demon and Friend

I stared straight into the eyes of a beautiful demon in the daytime
and I didn’t feel angry, nor shame, nor sympathy, nor remorse, nor apathy, nor happiness.

I was sad for this young demon for she doesn’t know she’s burning up the very fabric that breathes for her, intact, when she could stop and stop to think, “I don’t give a fuck”

How I could distinguish it so easily now and the other one couldn’t even see with his own two lustful tastes

Eyes so heavy like stones fall down and droop 

A fallen angel turned demon with the time of eternity “I don’t give a fuck!” mental exchange only because of an imperfect idea.

Such weak faith, mentality, and morals. Impulses are what killed her fragile body… to be filled with fire and poisonous joy, only to die

A friendlier angel saw through the signs, the weaknesses, and the two-handed mask, sat back and did nothing but laugh.

Othersiders drift into existence exhibiting their ritualistic tribal roots with the pops
Face full of mist seeps into my mind screaming “I don’t give a fuck!”

Emptiness filled my mind taking in these rouge puffs of preached sin

“I’ll find some way to get you lower than the heavens before we go to Eve’s dominion”

How a spirit could inhabit my corrupt mind, moonshine into my yearning eyes

Millions more waiting to join the big rampage in the populations on the 4th day.

Already screams were heard on the 3rd day to call for a new day

drops of poison flow down my leg burning every feeling I once had in them

Icy daggers penetrate the tough skin of my garb

cuts red deep into my neck like a burning metal chain choking the life out of my desolate soul

the stigma of a fearful disciple on my arm

all personified in my demon, her tricks, numerous tricks


I must not let the demon affect me further for I had grown too close for anything 
that it does will affect me even if it doesn’t know, it still affects me.

How I deeply wanted to separate from this demon’s influence, but it always finds some way to hold me in its numerous claws

If it asks for help then I shall help because I’ve come too close

If it dies then I shall cry because I’ve grown too attached

Many times I tried on my own to extinguish its fire and failed

How I’ve wished to kill this demon, just to fulfill the inevitable end, and not have a long life of suffering

But in the end I’ll die too because it’s a part of me, embedded in me, part of my fake heart that I try to feed with chaotic morals, destroyed virtues, and a dismembered faith

A friend, a demon. Both interchangeable. Both inseparable. Neither trying to hold back. Both acting on fatal impulse. 

I weep for them.

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Define No Sanctuary

Screaming screaming symphonies
on my skin and in my knees
the mental breakdown sears 
any hopes and dreams
No safe haven
for a desperate plea
like mine
No distance I will to run away
to find a decent person 
No willing patron
to keep me sane
My past home no more
became Auschwitz
My new home no more
became a living lie 
How easy it is to be dragged into a war 
I’m starry eyed and I can’t change 
lost the ability to change 
I hear the words coming out of your 
open-minded friend, all of them lacking
the comfort and assurance I desperately need 
the body is a jail for the soul
screaming, begging to be released
to wherever deems worthy of a piece
of history and of entity
echoes of silent whispers
begging to be released
already took a start on my being
trying to burn itself out of the very skin of my being 
I feel hell over a lifetime and a day
and it feels like a thousand knives piercing
slicing the healing wounds making deeper impressions  
PLEASE SAVE ME 
this perpetual hug kept me from disappearing
at least for now
until the breaking of our ways
will I break mine 
I have a lot to say hi.  
I still have enough to say how’s everything going
I still have some to say see you later 
I barely have any to say good luck
I have none to say good bye. 
because it’s too easy to cover up the pain inside 
no one will ever know until it’s too late 
one of the things supposed to keep me alive
is doing more harm than drinking the metal 
for I will never live on a prayer 
Just breathe
That’s all you need to do
all you can do
to pass away
how I could love to not be undead 
what’s left for a ghost in a shell
is the lord of pain
the queens of drunken happiness
the king of the grass
the jester of lies
the pilot of forbidden dreams
the princess of sanctuary 
the once-full empty shell
desperate to be filled
now vulnerable to anything
faith has broken

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Breathless

Could this have been coincidence or a sign from the stars?
How one can make a desolate surface of infinite emptiness like Mars,
Light up the darkness, into my heart, pours an infinite flashing flame
You smile, and then the roaring sun dies down and becomes tame
I’m not sure anymore how to express myself any day
For I had lost my breath for it feels like it was taken away.
I am silent, but my head full of the raging noises of a violent dream
My thoughts, racing, ever creating a picture one right after the other, all distorted and extreme
Everything became straightforward and I followed it to your glowing silhouette
Wake up and let the dream explode into reality, you don’t forget,
We’re unbelievably living more than three thousand miles apart
But in God’s eyes, He would measure the long distance by our hearts
The distance has no meaning when a piece of my soul is with you, wherever you will go
Your soft, rose petal kisses make my heart lovingly skip a beat; your hugs cause time around us to slow
Your kindness echoes in the souls of each and every person, an indefinite ripple
You’re a unique person in my life, ever defined, ever loving, irreplaceable.
Knowing that I will definitely see you again makes every second I have to wait more bearable
From the West to the East, and back again, I will always be there if you want me to
I’ll never change, never give up, never lose faith; to anyone else will I never break my virtue
Somehow I can sense, in a crowd of a billion voices, I can hear yours, the greatest
You are my avatar, the benevolence, a calm maelstrom, my catalyst.
I am breathless, no longer silent, and set free
I see you and you see me
Together we’ll be lighter than any star in the sky with our luminous shine.
I’m yours, and you’re mine.

Inexpressible

Overwhelming feelings killing me mentally
Nothing I can think of can express this gently.
The emotions are overwhelming
Crying became tear-less
It’s getting harder to express what is inside
I wanted to tell somebody
But nobody understood
because I too, do not understand.

If only I could write my heart out
and let my emotions ride the two-way ticket to nirvana
If only I could cry my heart out and let my tears flow a river down to the floor that wash my bloodthirsty feet
If only I could experience the high joy that comes with the purging of faith.
If only there was someone next to me to say burning and pain aren’t the reason to help you cope
If only I could keep all these thoughts of destruction and wrung the breath with a rope

If only.

Indescribable

Certain phrases and rhymes can’t explain this
This, monumental sweetness of saintly utter bliss
It can’t describe, can’t provide words to understand what I’m feeling inside
I can’t seem to deviate from the feelings in question that my mind provides.
Seeming to envelop my mind with your external presence
And to have me hooked and captured by your internal essence
I’m unsure of how to even begin to express myself any day
But maybe some day, we can tell our deepest darkest feelings in some way.
Because if anything- if, I close my eyes, I can feel you right next to me, so ever completing
Feeling the warmth of your skin and the repetitive thump of your heart beating
More than anything, I hate how I’m over here and you’re over there!
Maybe we could meet in the middle of the luminous waters somewhere
I melt in how I believe the cute sound of your voice; it’s like second nature to me
I have yet to grasp your hand in mine, or else to have myself gone free
But I love how my feelings for you, overcome these feelings of hate for the distance
That my feelings for you have made me learn one out of seven possible reasons for my existence
I keep trying and trying to chain my love on lockdown
But if I do, I know the ocean of feelings will cause me to drown.
What I’ve felt and heard countless nights on the phone-
It makes me want to cherish our first moment we are alone
So, I’m not trying to say that this is just mindless infatuation;
But there’s got to be something to describe this immense passion!
Something to describe my impatience until the next time I hear your voice.
Something to describe how more than anything else, you’re ALWAYS my first choice.
Something to describe how I seem to hold my breath for every text message, voice message, aim reply, chatroom invitation
And al of the above that have any other internet connection to continue those concurrent conversations
We’re unbelievably living less than a mile apart.
But if it were God’s choice, He would measure the short distance by our hearts
I already know you have told me you have once cared for me too
This is genuine love and I can feel it and I believe it’s true
I am shy but when I’m with you I feel like I’m the happiest man in the world.
When I’m next to you I sometimes become so bright like the intensity of a thousand stars swirled
Something to imagine how more than anything else, I want us to be under God’s sign
How a simple hanging moment with you is worth a lifetime
This memory is indescribable for what I’m about to ask you and what you’re about to see,
As I get down on one knee, open a small box, gaze into your eyes and say, “Will you marry me?”

Inspired by a friend who I always pray for everyday.

All The Poems I Post Are Original Unless Said Otherwise

Copy something and I’ll find you…

Unless you ask for my permission.

My Prayer for My Everything

Dear God, the almightily father in heaven: I thank you.
You only not took care of me, by also my friends too.
You were the only person that supported me when no one else did.
And that was most probably when I was just a tiny little kid.

Without you I couldn’t be that person you wanted me to be.
You taught all of us how to count: one, two, and three.
Through all those who are you children as well.
With each new person, you had a new story to tell.

You had a tie with all the humans from that grain of sand.
You of anyone had helped someone up with your helping hand.
Through your children you acted upon all the people.
And your miraculous miracles have made you a hero.

Of a thousand words that are still waiting to reach you now,
Billions more are resting upon your heavenly eye brow.
Those words are yours have carried us into the light
So many that they enable us to see through the night

Out of choice you made us your very own
You took a chance to believe in what is known.
By taking your own image and casting it on us
So you gave us a never-ending amount of trust.

So I really wanted to tell to you God
That I want to thank you for everything.
I hope that I could convince you to see
That you are my everything to me.

This poem was inspired when I finally got Confirmed my sophomore year in SPSV

This Is Happiness

It fuels me, it heals me, it brings me to life.
Ice rapes my face till I feel dead
Incentive addictions like ours can’t be solved with a knife
Tears won’t roll down my cheeks and darkness hasn’t bled

I feel too lonely to stand with no shadow behind
Winds without their red and orange glow whined
It’s my destiny to fill the wind’s desires and lusts.
It feeds the warmth and ultimately away with the dust.

One catalyst is all i need
Take this match and sow the seed.
The laughter sizzled through my mind
Now the sacred light starting to entwine

Peace~
Equilibrium~
Joy~
Happiness~ filled my soul as screams die with the glow of life

As everything died, so did my fuel, and so did my vitality.
Nothings alive, snowfall signs their ash warrants, no purity.
The eruption of pleasure sadly, finally ended.
The phoenix of death has now descended

Inspired when I accidentally got addicted to burning and pain.

Intro The Woods (Not the musical psh.)

Into the woods we walk and run

Into the woods we have our fun

Let them soak up the sun like the glaciers are to global warming

The only noise to be heard is the crunch of leaves under our steps

Silence is embraced by singing of the lowly and the omnipresent winds

Presence of an unearthly spirit chills me to the bone

Omnipresence of a friend never keeps me alone

Climb the highest, gaze into the stinging beams

Provide me with shelter

Gives you strength and adamant power through the storm

Seeking refuge, wanting thimble stars to keep me warm

Shed your seedlings and change for the better

Be reborn and renewed in the newer, bright sunny weather

Peer through the branches that unlock bits and pieces of the sky

Lay in an open meadow underneath the stars and feel always as high

Life as god knows it, as he created it, is quickly slipping away

But life is evolving, ever changing, to be preserved until the end of forever’s day

Walk With Me Dearly

Do you remember all of the times we used to believe?

Back when it wasn’t a crime to play without abandon.

In the future golden memories to be made, I can only imagine.

Time is on our side to slow down or speed up as we please.

Whatever the need whatever the deed, time fills our needs.

Will I stand in the presence of eternity and fall on my knees?

And did I change your mind with destiny’s open keys?

How homesick could One get before losing it all

One always hears that benevolent everlasting call

Retract from the running, retract from the tears

Charge toward the darkness, destroy your fears

Take my hand into this promised land for you I want to stand

Walking into an abyss won’t seem as hard, arms in hand.

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